ADHD in Adulthood

 

First, the Good News: We have many strengths and gifts!

 

• Pattern Recognition - We see connections others miss completely

• Crisis Performance - When things get real, we often shine brightest

• Creative Problem-Solving - Our “scattered” thinking generates innovative solutions

• Intense Passion - When we care about something, we bring unmatched energy

• Intuitive Understanding - We often sense what’s really going on beneath the surface

• Adaptability - We’ve been improvising our whole lives

 

My clients and I collaborate in building lives that leverage these strengths while learning to outsource the things that we struggle with (for example, monotonous paperwork). 

 

Now, for some of the heavier stuff.

 

What Adult ADHD Looks Like (a few examples)

 

- Starting projects with fire, then watching that flame mysteriously vanish

- Having brilliant 2 AM insights but struggling with “simple” daily tasks

- Hyperfocusing for six hours straight while bills sit unopened

- Feeling everything at volume 11 when others seem set to 5

- Knowing you’re capable of so much but feeling perpetually behind

- Ruminating on thoughts, fantasies, memories for large portions of the day, for many days in a row.

- That nagging sense you’re not adulting “right”

 

Struggles that Often Come with ADHD

 

ADHD rarely travels alone. Many of us also deal with:

 

Depression that comes from years of feeling “not enough,” from dreams deferred and potential unrealized. The weight of a thousand “why can’t I just…” thoughts. Wearing an “I’m normal” mask, while expending a lot of energy trying to hide our ADHD (often unsuccessfully). Rejecting and repressing our wonderful ADHD parts (which contain a lot of energy, joy, creativity, and playfulness). If we reject those parts, we cut ourselves off from all of that, and then no wonder we’re depressed.

 

Anxiety about everything we might forget, mess up, or leave undone. That constant mental buzz of trying to keep all the plates spinning. Ruminating on thoughts and memories which perpetuates anxiety.

 

Addiction - whether it’s substances, gaming, shopping, or endless scrolling. ADHD brains desperately seeking dopamine often find it in places that end up causing more pain.

 

These aren’t character flaws. They’re common responses to living with an unrecognized or unsupported different brain in a world built for neurotypical nervous systems.

 

Working WITH Your Wiring

 

ADHD brains need stimulation like plants need sunlight. Sometimes we reach for quick, easy dopamine fixes that give us quick relief but set up a negative spiral of increasing tolerance and needing increasingly more of whatever is spiking our dopamine.

 

Together we can explore what you’re really seeking (peace? excitement? connection?) and find healthier ways to feed those needs. This might mean addressing the anxiety with body-based practices, lifting the depression by finally understanding yourself, or finding sustainable sources of the stimulation you crave.

 

My Approach

 

Including the above (somatic work, mindfulness, behavioral coaching, Motivational Interviewing) I primarily use Internal Family Systems (IFS). In this modality, we get curious about all your parts - the anxious one, the one that numbs out, the creative genius, the harsh inner critic. They’re all trying to protect you, even when their methods cause problems.

 

Something I’m also exploring with clients: using AI as external executive functioning and as a kind of coach. AI can increasingly do the things that are boring and unstimulating, freeing up time and energy to do what excites us and naturally motivates us.

 

What We’ll Actually Do

• Deep Parts Work - Using IFS, we’ll meet all aspects of you: the part that procrastinates (what’s it protecting you from?), the anxious part (what does it need to feel safe?), the critic (how is it trying to help?). When your parts feel heard and understood, they naturally begin cooperating instead of fighting.

• Map Your Unique ADHD Blueprint - Your patterns, triggers, and superpowers

• Strategic Life Design - Build systems around your strengths and outsource/delegate/AI-assist the stuff that drains you

• Address the Emotional Layers - Through Parts Work, heal the shame, grief, and old wounds

• Find Your Sustainable Rhythm - Energy management that honors your ADHD cycles

• Celebrate Wins - Train your brain to notice what’s working

The Bottom Line

Success with ADHD isn’t about fixing yourself - it’s about:

• Maximizing what you’re naturally brilliant at

• Getting creative support for the rest

• Healing the parts of you still carrying old pain

• Building a life that fits YOUR brain